The final instalment of the France 2005 trip – a couple of weeks delayed due to circumstances beyond my control (back at work and suddenly not as much time to compose emails)

The weekend of Oct 21 – 23 was reserved for a special treat – a trip to Finale Ligure in Italy to participate in a HASH weekend. I’ve hinted at HASHing in past epistles. For the uninitiated, here is what it is:

The Hash House Harriers was first formed in about 1938, by a group of displaced Brits living in Singapore. Hash House was the nickname of the restaurant where they used to get together, and Harrier describes the "hiking game" they developed. (This may not all be accurate, and I’m not familiar with all the rules, but there are websites that can educate you thoroughly). The Hare lays a trail, using flour most commonly, as a marker. The trails can go anywhere, through city streets, out into the woods, (in Finale Ligure – up goat paths) across small streams, pretty much anywhere. There are spots where the trail ends with a circle, signifying a checkback – several possible directions to proceed. There are some false trails and only one real trail. Sometimes there’s a circle with a "V" meaning make sure to stop and enjoy a particularly nice view, sometimes with an "S" meaning a song stop.

The idea of the checkbacks is to add a little challenge and to ensure the folks who like to run ("FRB’s or Front Running Bastards) waste some time chasing false trails while the walkers get a chance to catch up. The first one to find the real trail calls out to lead the rest "On, on!" in the right direction. It’s all very non competitive, with shortcuts for walkers or folks pushing strollers. There is a beer stop in the middle, with drinks and snacks, and another at the end along with "The circle". The circle is when everyone gathers and discusses the run, and where certain individuals are singled out for committing "infractions", and "punished" by having to drink beer (called a "down down")!

It’s kind of a combination of a social club, an excuse to drink beer, and some exercise and enjoyment of the outdoors.

Finale Ligure is a meeting point for 2 HASH groups, the Riveria group (Maggie’s group from Nice) and the Milan group, who have been getting together for the past 15 years to HASH all weekend. The all inclusive weekend itinerary included:

Friday night HASH in the dark before supper

Breakfast Saturday

Saturday HASH

Halloween banquet/costume bash Saturday night

Sunday morning breakfast and

Sunday morning HASH

The participants:

Hash Names of the folks we met (that we can remember)

I met folks who travelled from Switzerland, Sweden, Austria, England and Amsterdam(?), as well as the Milan and Nice contingent. The rest of this email is a rather lengthy description of the 3 Hashes we participated in over the weekend. It may be of some interest to the Hashers who were there, and less to the rest of you, so read on at your own risk.

Sorry, Padre, I hope this isn’t too long, or too late!

Day 1 Friday Night

The first Hash; we were virgins - with only a few stories to go by, we didn’t really understand all the rules or know what to expect. To make it worse, it was at night in a strange town. And we couldn’t really get out of it, we had to Hash before they would give us supper. My one fallback - Peter’s personal guiding principle for survival – if you get lost, get lost with a group.

I started off with the runners, and found out fairly quickly how effective checkpoints are – as the runners get there first and eliminate the false trails while the walkers catch up. I quickly gained and reinforced a reputation as having great skill in ferreting out false trails. In fact by the time the weekend was over, the group I was with (any group I was with) would wait to see which option I chose, then they would all immediately go off in every other possible direction, secure in the knowledge that I had picked the wrong trail!

The run in the dark was an interesting experience. Trying to follow a trail marked with sparse dots of flour, avoid ankle twisting hazards in the dark, and navigate dark streets, walkways and goat paths through an unfamiliar community, at times close to homes with dogs barking etc. I couldn’t help but think that if we were in America, we might have to be worried about being shot at! I also wonder what any nearby residents thought of the rather loud, boisterous group at the beer stop.

At no time did I have any idea where we were!

I did learn some of the clever Hash tricks during this run. At one point, I spotted Padre running down a hill behind me, without a light. He commented that his torch batteries were defective. The FRB’s and I went down a 300 yard false trail; it wasn’t until we ran back up to the point where I had spotted Padre that I realized we had been duped! Padre was the hare – he didn’t set the real trail until after a bunch of us had gone down the false one! I only figured this out (after the fact) because Farty Bum had told us about the possibility of it happening during one of her Hash stories.

The rest of the run was uneventful until I caught up to Clever Dick on the last downhill stretch – about 100 yards from the hotel. He told me he’d been keeping an eye on me the whole run. You can imagine my relief to know I was never really at risk – Thanks, Clever Dick!

The Hash circle was an interesting experience. Down-downs were distributed with wild abandon on many unwitting victims. We were "honoured" for being "Winnipegians" – a bastardized term equivalent to saying "Italyites", "Stockholmeners" or "Nice-omians". By the end of the night, it was alcohol 1, Peter 0.

Day 2 - Saturday

After Saturday’s breakfast, we were treated to a confidence - boosting send off by Tone Deaf (hare for the day) consisting of mainly:

· The trail is marked with flour (unless it’s yesterday’s)

· False trails are 5 marks long (unless it’s 4 or 6, or yesterday's)

· There are 2 beer stops. There are 2 trails; an easy trail and a steep gravely trail between beer stops 1 and 2.

I started off with the runners again, and again quickly showed by developing skill at ferreting out false trails. I followed one all the way to 5 marks then returned to find myself at the very back of the whole group. There were 2 strollers and small children going single file up a goat path. When we got to the top, the rest of the Hashers were long gone.

Not to worry! Paint Stripper (assistant Hare) knew a shortcut. Following my personal guiding principle for survival – if you get lost, get lost with a group – I went along with him and the others. We went around corners, down streets, through parking lots and finally ended up back on the trail – at the SECOND BEER STOP!!! (We had not yet seen the first!)

Using fool proof instructions (There’s and easy path from Beer Stop 1 to Beer Stop 2) and impeccapable logic (this road goes uphill, so it must be the easy path from Beer Stop 1), we set off up the unmarked road to find Beer Stop 1. We formed a loose group with Wheelchair and Flying Bottom fast walking at the front, and the new mums with strollers (and Chico and Paint Stripper) at the rear.

We walked and walked and walked. The sun sped westward. We went back and forth along the road with many switchbacks and hairpin turns. The front and back of the group stretched so far apart that at one point I took a bathroom break (I was in the middle) without leaving the road, and was not spotted by either the front or back folks in our group.

At no time did I have any idea where I was. We walked and walked and walked. I was sticking to my personal guiding principle for survival – if you get lost, get lost with a group – but my resolve was beginning to falter. "Perhaps we should just go back and wait at Beer Stop 2", I timidly ventured. Flying Bottom was stern and succinct in her response: "We shall not!"

Then suddenly Wheelchair cried "Hashers ahead!", (Those fluorescent yellow bibbies provided by the Milan group were certainly visible from a long way off) and off he ran. As it turns out, we arrived at Beer Stop 1 at about the same time as the main group of Hashers (those who took the road more traveled by).

Many snacks and drinks later, the entire group headed off on the correct trail toward Beer Stop 2. We found Tone Deaf’s steep gravelly path. We also saw:

• Wonderful views of the beach and marina below
• Goats, chickens, and barking dogs
• Oak (acorn) trees, pepper trees, olive trees, orange trees, lime trees
• 2 old women with no teeth, whom Fabio kibbutzed with (they are probably still wondering what the H--- that was all about!
• And finally – THE GHOST OF GUS!!!!!

We tried to climb down a cliff before realizing this was not the trail (no I was not leading at this time). Eventually, I ended up at the end of the line with my sisters. One of the assistant hares (sorry can’t remember her name) was acting as a "sweeper" making sure no-one got left behind. [Clever Dick take note – sweepers operate at the back of the group, not at the front!!]

The trip back to Beer Stop 2 seemed shorter (and likely the gravelly path was shorter than the road we traveled up). The final leg of the journey seemed less eventful. We ended up on the beach for circle and lunch. Some people came prepared for swimming. Others didn’t but went anyway – in their skivvies!

Silly me – I thought I might avoid a down-down, forgetting I was a "Winnipegian"! Also, I apparently committed the crime of stopping to look at a flower that resembled a dandelion. We witnessed our first naming ceremony. "Clutch" had to kneel down, have flour and beer poured in his hair, and have various lewd songs sung about him.

Total time on the Hash today – 5+ hours including the lunch stop.

Saturday night costume banquet

The costume banquet on Saturday night was a ton of fun! There were lots of costumes, an especially large concentration of witches hats, and lots of fun entertainment. Memorables include:

• Flying Bottom’s long poem
• Sadist’s rendition of "Rindecella"
• Haissimo’s British school song (sorry can’t remember the song) to which he got the whole room singing along
• I had to get up and sing a song (Iron Bottom will not be refused). I know no songs, so I tried "I’s the Bye" – a traditional Newfoundland folk song and was abandoned by my own sister Farty Bum who is also a semi professional singer!!!
• It was all going so merrily along – and then Chainsaw dragged (propelled?) us into the gutter with his rendition of "the S&M Man"!

The night ended early (4 am) after some story telling contests between Padre, Big End, Chain Saw, Sheila and myself.

DAY 3 – SUNDAY

Start Time – 10 am

[Clever Dick note – the co-Hare actually has to start before the rest of the group so he can help his female partner lay the trail for everyone else! Is chivalry dead??]

Today’s run was quite different. The objective was to keep it a little flatter. We primarily ran in town on the streets. There were some tricky checkpoints that had everyone running in circles for awhile. We had a song stop (just as people were getting out of church – again I wondered what they thought of this group wearing fluorescent yellow bibbies and singing in their square). After a long walk along the promenade, we finished up on the beach again. No swimmers this time, but most everyone was hauled in for down-downs. My personal infractions – 1) being a "Winnipegian", 2) mistaking a piece of paper for flour on the trail, and 3) telling jokes last night till 4 am! I have never before been forced to drink so much beef simply for being from Winnipeg [thanks, Sheila]

My biggest fear (that I would get a Hash name - especially after "Bum Face" got his!) was not realized.

CONCLUSION

Hashing is a unique social club. The Hash itself is an interesting combination of wit and exercise, designed to include all comers. It’s very cooperative and really non competitive. The exercise value is probably pretty much negated by the constant availability of beer and snacks. The circle at the end is really designed to make sure everyone is recognized for something. And the punishment?!? of drinking more beer!

In 2 ½ short days, I felt I’d made some new friends. Don’t know when I’ll see you again, but Thank You all!

Even more impressive is how much this all means to my sister, Farty Bum. She has made some very good friends and she enjoys the whole thing immensely. She relates time and places to past and future Hashes (Eg "This is where our Christmas Hash was", or "That happened right after Sadist’s 50^th birthday Hash.") She invites us to stop for a beer after an afternoon walk in the village (She rarely used to drink at all, let alone be the one to suggest it, unlike her rowdy brother and sister). She truly looks forward to each future Hash. And so it has accomplished what I believe the original concept intended to accomplish. People living far away from home and family can make new friends with common interests and have some good, (semi) clean fun with no social or competitive pressures. And for that again, on behalf of my sister, I thank you all, especially you RHHH’ers.

On, on!

Peter Cohoe

pcohoe@shaw.ca