RIVIERA HASH TRASH 751
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R*N REPORT 751
50 Shades of Smut
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The hardest of hardcore hashers assembled under leaden skies at Puget sur Argens although it was not actually raining at the off. We had already received excuses for non -attendance of some hashers. None were particularly original and all of them utterly unconvincing.
Iron Lady, the hare, had probably set the trail 2 - 3 days before so the flour had somewhat faded in places. Indeed, Iron lady advised us that if any blob of flour had been washed away we should just go on to the next one. Heartened by this astute advice we set off. Again, more runners than walkers. Runners; Perpetual Motion, Sadist, Padre and Cumalot. Walkers: Pedo and Farty Bum.
It started to rain, albeit very lightly, soon after the start and after a few minutes, desperately looking for an atom of flour, we left Puget metropolis and arrived on the RN7. Still searching for flour we were distracted by the inspirational view of major roadworks which will evolve into a magnificent piece of engineering in the 2020s. By some luck we spotted arrows directing both walkers and runners over a bridge. At this stage walkers and runners were more or less on the same trail. Padre had dropped back from the 3 potential Olympians ahead and in fact he was not to be seen again. Only on a hash could following arrows be incorrect and Iron Lady rushed to turn us back and with good reason as if we had continued, we would have been at the beer stop a few minutes later. Dejected, Perpetch, Sadist and Cumalot recrossed the RN7 and regained the trail through a vineyard. The weather deteriorated. Not only was the rain falling heavily now but we also benefited from a crosswind. South of France? It was more like Shetland.
Morale was still pretty high, however, and the flour on this stretch had proved remarkably resilient. This satisfactory state of affairs could not last and it didn't. We continued running through the vineyard and passed what was to prove a significant blob of flour. The three of us (remember no Padre now) continued aimlessly as we searched for flour. After about 20 minutes, and our brains addled with rainwater we went back to basics and back to the "significant blob". This had been an arrow in the distant past and we entered a jungle. The three of us suffered significant lacerations and we looked around briefly to see if Padre was bleeding to death in some flooded ditch. Nope. This tough section was brief and with the rain knocking off it was easy running back to the RN7. Iron Lady had originally planned for us to cross the River Argens but she had decided on an alternative route. This was just as well as we would have ended up being carried to the Mediterranean and washed up on a beach in Corsica. A km or so on the RN7 brought us back to the arrows we had first seen an hour before and then on to the beer stop. Still no Padre and no Farty Bum either. Pedo had informed us they had both gone on. At least he was still alive. Apparently he had arrived about 25 minutes before us. Was this due to his lack of alcohol for a month and Rock 'n' Roll 10 miles training or did he shortcut? The jury is still out.
A short second half took us back to the car park and still no Padre who apparently was running an extra loop. We still do not know why and we started the circle without him - it was getting cold. Down Downs were awarded to:
Hare: Iron Lady. She is a real trooper. All frequent hares have set and reset trails in awful weather and her efforts are greatly appreciated.
Returner. Padre. He finally returned to the circle!
Cumalot. Arranging reasonable weather in the circumstances. It could have been far worse in view of what it was like when we set off for home after the On On.
SOW. Padre after a re-run with Farty Bum. Padre had actually been voted in absentia whilst we froze to death waiting for him.
The On On was at an Asian food restaurant nearby. Entree, Main Course, Dessert with as much as you could eat from a buffet service. With wine and coffee - 20 Euros per head. We had earned it.
AWAY WEEKEND 16 - 19 May 2014
16 - 18 May. Usual Format
19 May. Optional Bike Hash
Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 750: NEXT HASH 2-Feb
*** Run 750 ***
Meet at 10.30 - 11.00
Domaine d'Etoile, La Gaude
"It CAN'T rain for THREE days solid TWO years in a row!" r*n.
Cum and join us for what will be a new (unless you have been to one of my R*ns before) and exciting (you must be easily excited) r*n.
Following which Hash there will follow a traditional Burns Supper meal of beer, Haggis, Vegetarian Haggis neeps, tatties, 'special gravy' and general Scottishness chez Cumalot and Cums Quicker.
Price for members: €20 (unless its more)
Price for non-members more than above
If you are unable to run, walk or crawl on the Hash due to injury, infirmity or general idleness there will be a limited number of places for 'kitchen helpers' who will be expected to do all kinds of menial tasks in order to help the chef (Cums Quicker) BUT WILL BE ABLE TO EAT THE MEAL of course...
Due to limited space and primitive cooking facilities, numbers will be limited this year, as was last, so any non-participants in the actual Hash will also be non-eaters.
Sorry, but this is a primarily a normal (?) Hash, with some excellent home cooking thrown in (or up if not excellent).