RIVIERA HASH TRASH 733
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R*N REPORT 733
50 Shades of Smut
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Have your say-got an opinion? Give it to me and I'll publish and be dammed
Well, almost. Popular decisions voted down the suggested 8.30 start time, when the heat of the day was still warming up, in favour of a tough scortching start at 9.30. Many were still unable to drag themselves out of bed to submit themselves to the harsh discipline of the hares Farty Bum and Virgin Mouth. Nevertheless some stalwart visitors from Devon on their way back home after a 3 month European tour joined up. Confusion and Madame Mouton made it to the start but declined to participate on the hash fearing the burning heat and gruelling terrain which was promised to be distinctly unshady.
So Dingus sprinted off from the start closely followed by Cumalot for the first 500 yards whereupon he reverted to a slower pace. The trail started along the river Cagne, not towards the sea but going inland on tarmac which pleased Supermarket Trolley until we reached the steep side of Haut de Cagnes where upwards was the imposed direction. At the top of the climb, the trail started downhill past the famous Wairda Fukawi villa. Too good to be true; soon flour was on a path going up again to the top of the village. Here there was a little area called Place des Rencontres; whether this is a dating assignation point or the official market place for the local ladies of the night. I cannot say.
Anyway the trail lead us on a touristique route through the attractive narrow streets of the village until we reached a very steep road dropping back down to the bustling commercial centre of Cagnes. Here Madame Mouton and Confusion were found shopping in the newly rebuilt market building full of wonderful food stalls. I had thought up to this point that the trail had been particularly well laid by our experienced hares but then I came to a big square where no flour could be found. Dingus had spent 10 minutes checking out all possible directions without success before picking up trail at the far side of the square- apparently here flour was to be found on trees whereas it had been on the ground for 98% of the trail. The flour now lead back to the beer-stop which was all of 50 yards from where we had started.
But then disaster! The beer car was locked , no keys were to be found in all the usual places and the Beermeister was way behind with the last of the walkers. After an extremely long wait and lots of proposals for a SOTW nomination, especially when even a suffering Broken Man arrived before Pedo, refreshments were finally available.
The second half of a promised figure of eight trail was going to be down to the sea, as a swim stop had been promised. But this was not direct. There seemed to be more checks on the second half than on the first, and many misleading falsies around the RN7 and roads leading to the sea. As it had been an early start, we were too early for the aperitif which was being prepared for some local Cros de Cagnes festival on the Bord de Mer. Flour lead across to the busy walkway by the beach and all we needed to do was find the spot for a swim as no particular designated area had been marked. Amber- being the only dog on the hash this time -posed a problem for Christy and James as chiens were among the many things forbidden on the beach-and although there were apparently 2 plages where dogging was allowed we didn't know where they were. However a fair number of hashers braved the slightly warm water- Perpetch, Merry Dick, Iron Lady, Sadist, Luca, Pullit- before the walkers caught up. Then a pleasant run or walk in the sunshine along the promenade to the start where again Disaster!- a locked beerwagon-no beer again. Shit of the Week nominations now being cast in stone for Pedophil.
A circle was held where there was a spot with some shade and which was relatively free of dog droppings and Down Downs were given to:
The Hares: Farty Bum and Virgin Mouth ( appearing for the last time as hare but still not leaving yet for Cornwall)
Welsh rugby winner: Pedo
Visitors: Sex Club, Broken Man, Fallen Woman, Pullit
Virgins: Gerry, brought along by CMorePussy
Independence Day Americans: Idyl and Dingus (as a wannabee American)
Walking Wounded: Broken Man, Back Passage. Achilles Feel, Pedo
Birthdays: Farty Bum? Virgin Mouth?
Shit of the Week: clearly Pedo for depriving everyone at the beerstop and at the end; runner up Farty Bum for trespassing and losing the trail
Then before they temporarily leave for Britain, names were given to James and Christy -now known as Back Passage and Achilles Feel-the ceremony being performed by the Grand Master.
Some lines on the recent departure of Tidal Dave
The economic tsunami
Has washed you
On to British shores.
Hashing with us
For many years
So we'll miss you.
We'll remember you
By the Riviera T shirts you designed,
Frogs leaping, drinking beer,
With a message in the small print.
Lundy Island 9-11 August 2013
Run 736 18 August 2013
UK Nash Hash 23-26 August 2013
Corsica 2013. 25th-29th September
Try this link to find information regarding the Belgium Interhash bid for 2014.
Book early and obtain a good price. (If they win the bid)
To see what world hash events are coming up, check out this website:
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 734: NEXT HASH 21-Jul
A Farewell To Walkers and Mr Kipling...
Venue: St Jeannet (Peyron district)
When: 21st July 2013
Meet at: 9:30 for 10:00
Where: Car park between Marche-U and petrol station
Join us in ensuring Virgin Mouth really leaves this time and that she also leaves behind the Walkers Rosbif flavour crisps, Mr Kipling Cakes, Mince Pies, Crème Eggs etc.
The meal will be at a new Thai restaurant that has, until now, has neither refused to serve us nor overcharged. The cost will be approx €20.
More details to follow (fish eating vegetarians welcome).
Dress Code: Due to the extreme heat the following is suggested:-
Contact the Hare on: 06 27 05 81 10 or firstname.lastname@example.org
From the A8 exit at Cagnes-Sur-Mer and head for Cagnes "centre ville".
When in Cagnes centre look for the brown tourist signs to "Museé Renoir".
You will end up in the fiendish Cagnes one-way system and, at some stage, you will come to a junction with traffic lights and two large palm trees. Left will be back into Cagnes, right will be signposted Musee Renoir but La Gaude will be straight on, between the palm trees, not helpfully signposted after the junction.
Then follow the signs to La Gaude, which is about 15 minutes straight up the hill inland. Continue though the village, straight over the roundabout with the yellow cutouts of jazz musicians on it.
Continue up the road to the top of the hill (though 1 set of traffic lights) and turn left at the mini-roundabout, signposted St. Jeannet. Continue on this road and descend towards St. Jeannet, straight over 1 mini-roundabout , past the bakery on your left and turn right at the larger roundabout just after it.
Use the map below to get directions; it's for the best
Click here for the Map