RIVIERA HASH TRASH 582
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The U.K. Nash Hash 28/08 – 31/08/08. Organised by Edinburgh HHH,
Marathon Bhutan, 7th September 2008
It's amazing how Prestressed and Skinny A's mid-Summer Hash always manages to entice those long lost old Hashers out of the woodwork. We had Woof Diva on her annual visit to the Hash, Smelly Poo and Maneater from down under and CJ and X-Rated from Geordie land, to name but a few. As we set off from the Lycée Regional de Valbonne at the appointed time we had the now customary panicked phone call from Madame Mouton who was 'Lost in France' yet again, something to do with disappearing roundabouts, which mysteriously seemed to re-appear later on in the day! From the start, the runners, which to the delight of the female contingent, included two very handsome young men, managed to check out all the false trails before stumbling across the right one. Prestressed had managed to conjure up an infinite number of devious ways on leading us down to the Brague. However, to my delight, many of the trails were on tarmac and good quality tracks, several of which were very familiar to the marathon runners in the group. As the runners got more and more spread out, the front runners stopped at strategic points to wait for the stragglers, take in the views and topping up their sun tans. As we continued our run we struggled up the 'killer hill' to Air France, which certainly sorted out the men from the boys, or should that be the old men from the not so old men? Anyway, the good news was that it was all down hill from here to the Beer Stop, which was on the bridge by the stables. All was going precisely to plan according to the Hare, with the first runner arriving after 58 mins and the first walker coming into view within 5 mins. Prestressed had estimated a first half lasting one hour. At the Beer Stop several people commented on how quiet Skinny A was. Was this because she had exerted so much energy setting the trail or because she was still in shock after the reigning European Football Champions, Greece, had been unceremoniously kicked out of the current competition the night before, without even scoring a goal? After a lengthy Beer Stop during which much alcohol was consumed, the Hares told us it was time to go. What they failed to tell us was that this was a Hash with a difference, as breaking with tradition, the second half, and I use the term half loosely, was going to be much longer than the first. Joining us for the second half were the very late comers Lady P., Petit Shit and Layla the dog. As the locals amongst us headed up the obvious trail from the Beer Stop, we looked back and notice what appeared to be a big bad Troll on the bridge, which turned out to be our very own Prestressed, who was smirking in a devious manner, as we had gone off in completely the wrong direction. It was at this point that the two handsome young men mysteriously disappeared into the woods never to be seen again, but there again it has to be said the Maneater did have a very satisfied grin on her face when she arrived back at the car park. In an effort to stop the walker's day dreaming, the Hares had thoughtfully arranged for Layla to keep spraying them with water from the river, a duty she performed very diligently. Back on the runner's trail, we eventually ran past the back of my Domaine, at which point I was sorely tempted to stop off for a cuppa, but thought it wasn't necessary as we were only 5 mins from the car park. Shock Horror, the trailed turned back on its self and we did another full circuit around the Brague, along trails I never knew existed, which could come in handy for the future, as it looks like I will inherit Prestressed's turf, when he and Skinny A move on to bigger and better things in Montauroux, before thankfully finally heading back to the start.
Down Downs awarded as follows:
Hares: Prestressed and Skinny A
Polyandra: For excessive wining
Maneater, X-Rated + Polyandra: Directionally challenged
Nicker Licker: Dirty talking
Skinny A: Advertising for business in Privite Eye
Woof Diver, Prestressed + Sadist: For something or other
Dereliction of duty: Pedo
CJ + X-Rated: Visiting
Pedo, Sadist, Nicker Licker, Shepherd's Bush + CJ: Short cutting
Diarrhea: Mobile phone and wet T-shirt
Suck On (Maneater): Leaving his wife to prey on unsuspecting Hashers
Rubber Maid + Saddle Sniffer: Sex in circle
Smelly Poo, Prestressed + Pedo: Wearing tight shorts
Most of circle: Returners
Shit of the Week was Pedo yet again for lack of hygiene with the paraphinalia and lack of rosé.
The On On was at 'Jimmy's Killer Prawns' for a scrumptious meal, when it finally arrived. Apparently, the South African owners, in an attempt to become more fully integrated into French society, were working on French time. Luckily for us they didn't decide to go the whole hog and go on strike!
Big thank you to Prestressed and Skinny A for organising a great Hash and On On.
Also see the Receeding Hare Line!
R*n 583: NEXT HASH 29-Jun
10:30 for 11:00 start.
Map here. But note that the start is actually at the junction with Chemin Pablo Picasso not the point indicated on the map.
Restaurant is CHEZ ANGELO and the address is 14 Avenue Maurice Jeanpierre in LE CANNET (near the stade Maurice Jeanpierre).