This was Pedo’s run on the rainy Sunday a week before our Christmas party – five weeks ago now. It seems no one was asked to do the run report, but I still remember it quite well, so thought I’d write it down while still warmed up from doing this week’s report.

This run wasn’t at Pedo’s usual lay-by place, but on the road between Biot and Valbonne, not far from the place we had our Christmas party a few years ago.

Because of the rain, only twelve hashers showed up – four walkers and eight runners (or three walkers and nine runners, if you count Two Cheeky as a runner, though she was forced to walk this day due to an injury). It wasn’t raining that hard, but hard enough to wet the paper so that Farty Bum couldn’t write down the names, until Padre found a pencil in his trunk (boot) (pencils work in the rain).

The run started with the runners going up a path onto the hillside, and the walkers crossing the road and going down a path into the valley of the Brague, and then walking along the river in the direction ‘towards Valbonne’.

The runners did a couple of loops on the hill, and then they also crossed the road and headed down to the Brague, but not by the same path as us walkers, because Pedo told us that the trail we took DOWN was later a trail going UP for the runners. So the runners must have run in the hills towards Biot for awhile, and then crossed the road and descended to the Brague, and come back as far as our path, which they then went up. Possibly they crossed the road and did the whole thing again, as we heard they did two loops.

Or maybe they ran in the hills the other way, towards Valbonne, and then crossed the road up there and ran BACK along the Brague to our path, which they then went up. But I don’t think it could have been this, because we would have met them coming back, and we didn’t.

But they did run towards Valbonne, too, I know, because of remarks Big End made later on in the hash. Well anyway, the only thing I know for sure is that they did two loops in the hill, and went UP our down path – if you want to know any more, you’ll have to consult a runner. (That would be Dingus, PreStressed, Padre, Big End, Klingon, Cumalot or No Satisfaction, if you are really quite anxious to know.) (Or Pedo, the hare.)

Meanwhile, us walkers (Confusion, Madame Mooton, Farty Bum and Two Cheeky) were walking along the Brague. It was hardly raining at all anymore, and it was actually very pleasant moving along through the dripping bushes in that damp greeny brightness you get after a rain.

Beside us, the Brague was swollen and yellow, and roaring and crashing over the rocks, totally transformed from its usual pond-like appearance. The runners were supposed to cross over to the other side by way of those concrete pillar stepping-stones, but it was clear that the heavy rain had been a catastrophe for Pedo – not only was his flour washed away, but the stepping stones themselves were completely submerged. There would be no crossing to the other side of the river, where Pedo had laid seventy-six percent of his trail, and he had to find something else to occupy the runners. Perhaps this is why he gave them those two loops at the beginning.

Not long past the submerged stepping-stones, the walkers headed upwards on a path leading out of the Brague valley, and came back out onto a road. The sun was now shining, and the sky became very blue as we followed flour along various roads. Can’t remember what we were talking about, but somehow or other Two Cheeky informed us that she was very good at all kinds of unusual things, such as making animal noises. We said, "Go ahead then – let’s hear one". She turned away from us and bent over, her body began quivering, and then all of a sudden we heard a beautiful whinny, so real that we couldn’t help looking into the near-by field to see if there wasn’t a horse there. Two Cheeky was a bit exhausted from this effort; after she recovered we continued down the road.

I also seem to remember Confusion boldly picking khakis when we went into someone’s driveway to look at some sheep (or was it goats? – it all happened a long time ago).

We eventually came to a crossroads and, according to Pedo’s instructions, sat down at a bus stop to wait. After awhile Pedo came along, and we all sat there for quite some time, with Pedo enthusiastically describing the intricacies of the runners’ route. Considering the great loss the runners’ trail had suffered, the runners were certainly taking a lot longer to arrive than we had expected, and we even wondered if they had foolishly tried to cross the river and been swept down to the sea. But no – Pedo called them, and they were fine, apparently doing some long false trail that he had concocted that morning.

After awhile we left the bus stop and turned right, which took us back onto the Biot – Valbonne road, and a few minutes walk along this road took us to the beer stop. Here we waited again, and presently the runners arrived. Can’t remember anything in particular about the beer stop – the sky had turned dark again, and soon it started raining lightly, so we didn’t linger.

The beer stop was actually just down the road from where our cars were parked, and we could have been back there within two minutes, but of course there was a trail to follow. Pedo indicated a small road, ‘La Vieille Route de Grasse’, which started just beside the beer car, and told us we should go down there a short way, watching for flour, and then turn right onto a path that would take us up the hillside into the bush. "We’ve done that twice today already!" proclaimed Big End loudly. Pedo quickly explained that this was an environmentally responsible hash that obeyed the request of the conseille régionale to "reduce, re-use and re-cycle", and Big End was forced to swallow her mutinous comments on triple loops.

Klingon decided to take the direct route, and jogged off – perhaps he isn’t a green, or perhaps he just didn’t want to get wet. The walkers were to have a five-minute head start on the runners, and set off down the Vieille Route de Grasse. We were just nicely going up the second half of the zig-zag path up the hillside when the runners came spashing by and left us in the dust. As we were going along the hilltop we met a man who was gathering mushrooms, and stopped to inspect the contents of his bag (several different varieties), and despite the rain (still light, but rain nevertheless), one of the walkers, Madame Mooton I believe, asked for full instructions on how to prepare them. Then, as we moved into the trees, we discovered a lot of those tree strawberries, like we were eating all along that road in Porquerolles, and this slowed us down again.

Eventually we got back to the parking where the runners were waiting, and the down downs were performed. Fortunately, we had several umbrellas, as the rain began to come down a little harder again. Since there were only eleven of us (now that Klingon was gone), we each got a down-down, but the only one I remember was Two Cheeky for doing her whinny again. If anyone else remembers what they got, let me know and I’ll stick it in. The shit of the week might have been Pedo, for over-recycling of the trail.

Only six had opted to go to the restaurant, and as we left for home, these six were preparing to go to Pedo’s for an hour to listen to him play the piano, until time for the restaurant to open.

A very nice hash, in spite of the rain. You should have come!

Farty Bum