CumCum & Fly Me's end of summer hash

So we gathered in the car park by the church in Pegomas. It was hot. Some of us had hangovers. Some of us admitted to having hangovers. The Contessa showed up on time so the directions must have been good. Farty bum also showed up on time though that may have been because Max was there to follow directions. There was mention of a hill. The one behind the chuch that reached halfway to the sky. There were two virgins and a number of returners who had decided that the rentrée included hashing again. Various people named Cums didn't despite the presence of spouses and in one case offspring.

Eventually Dingus got his shit together more or less and everybody failed to listen to the hares explain about the arrows. About how the runners trail and the walkers trail kind of crossed and went back and forth on each other and things like that. And we were off. For some reason the trail headed for the hill without hesitation, deviation or repetition. I.e. a complete lack of central europeans and/or banking paper.

Some way up the hill we found the first spot where the walkers went one way and the runners went the other. We continued to the top of the hill. Virgin Tina disclosed that she was from Bicester under interogation. At the top of the hill an arrow directed us towards a concrete bunker thing. On the other side of the bunker Sadist found flour. Some time later we found a white circle on the ground. It was eventually solved and the pack split into two or three pieces during this process. Jobsworth, Perpertch, Dingus and virgin Tina were the FRBs. After a crossing a road we ran along a track and explained to virgin Tina why copious flour is a good idea. We encounted a sort of British Rail arrow thing with arrows in both directions. We interpreted this as in trail and out trail and continued. We encountered another one at the bottom of yet another climb. We asecended. Turned right wiggled leftish and Perpetch disappeared off into the distance. Another white circle was found and the true path identified. We returned to the British Rail arrows and then headed off to a fearsome valley which we had to descend and then ascend. At the top was a clump of walkers and a couple of hares saying confusing things like "it's over there but don't get confused by the walkers trail" and reportign that the beer check was relatively close - but we all know that hares lie.

A dog took exception to Dingus' whistle. A number of enterprising locals apparently felt that paths in the middle of a forest were a perfect place for petanque/boules and were playing on trails that hashers wished to run down. The trail showed us vistas of great valleys that we (fortunately) failed to descend. There were W signs and arrows in the opposite direction. There was an arrow the pointed to no where. There was a junction where flour was not obvious. Until Padre found it heading right. With another W sign & arrow in the opposite direction. The FRBs ignored this and continued down a trail which showed depressing signs of civilization with notice boards declaring "Propriete Prive" and recent building work and a tarmac road. After a while it was clear that this was in fact the way the walkers had ascended and was not the way to the beer check. The FRBs returned and apart from Dingus followed the W arrows the right way to get to the beer. Dingus somehow found the right trail to the beer. Perpetch showed up in the trek along the W arrows. At the beer check the slow runners were already there along with the walkers and the hares.

Nobby's Nuts turned out to be hard to get into. Seymour Pussy worried that she might break her teeth on Nobby's package. The single packet of Basil crisps was enjoyed by many ladies. Lucky Basil. Nobby's Nuts and Crisps were determined to be suitable
for vegetarians despite having flavours like "Bacon" or "Balti Chicken". Eventually the beer cooler was rather depleted and the walkers were rounded up and ordered to leave first. Then the runners drank up the rest and headed off in the company of Flyme to make sure they didn't get lost. Fairly soon the FRBs recognised their trail. Sadist demonstrated an unexpected turn of speed and left the rest of the pack in the dust. More sensible runners recalled that Jobsworth had the beer in his car and so didn't run any faster than Jobsworth.

The pile of rocks provided a certain amount of shade for the runners and the walkers showed up just as the beer was being placed in the shadow of the rocks. There was drinking. Padre dressed in his sarong. Cum cum displayed an interesting item that she claimed she found while cleaning up after her guests. The circle began. The hares were thanked and abused in the traditional fashion. Despite Dingus' recalling a mere 2 white circle things, Flyme claimed there were four. A down down was given for alcohol abuse (to Kate?). Seymour pussy was given a down down for Nobby's nuts. Cum cum got one for the "item". People with hangovers - Dingus, Padre, Sneaky Bastard and Big End drank a hair of the dog. Farty bum, Dingus and Jobsworth drank for forgetting their mugs, Pedo drank to show us that he had his. The Fairy Plunger was noted to have a new (to the hash car). It was alleged that it was stolen with the assistance of Polyandra and Sneaky Bastard. Contessa was awarded a down down for accordian fancying. Perpetch had a strange headline about Bogies being picked that earned him a libation. We welcomed back the returners - Whoresin, Seymour Pussy, Flyme, Cum Cum, Del Boy, Mme Mouton and others including two guests of Cum Cum who ran once before a couple of years ago. We said hello to virgin Tina and virgin Monique. We said fuck off to Smelly Poo who is going down under again. We wished one of Cum Cum's guests hashy 21st birthday again. We thanked Virgin mouth for a new supply of Nobby's crisps and other nearly in date vitamin J. The shit of the week was awarded to Cumalot for running out of rosé - and having some rosé that had aged a trifle more than it should have.

Cum cum gave directions about how to find the On On On. And we all went On On On.

On On