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In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN R*N REPORT Jobsworth Run News
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French Nash Hash 2006. Friday 22nd September - Sunday 24th September. Presqu'ile de Giens 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
Well, here we all weren't for Padre's escapade in a quarry somewhere behind Nice. To be fair, most hashers (well, everyone except Klingon) took heed of the vague directions and warning to be early and, consequently, arrived just in time for the start. It's the first time in my life that "park just over the brow of the hill" means about 3 continents away….. So it was that Toggle Oggle showed up for the first time since the last time, proclaiming that she is giving men lessons in demonstrating what a woman wants. Form an orderly queue, guys! Off it was at lunchtime on a grey day in the back of beyond (or Nice). Padre shepherded the runners, whilst Sneaky Bastard looked out for the walkers, particularly that Pedo bloke, who is renowned for leading everyone astray. Runners went one way, walkers another, only to find a big loop and Big End veering off trail for a flower watering session. Within 5 minutes of the off, we had our first spectacular casualty. For maximum effect, Knicker Licker had the decency to wait for the runners to be in view before she stumbled and fell onto her airbags. After this, the walkers and runners went their separate ways again, with Padre warning Jenny and son Henry that they really should consider taking the easy way out & avoid the forthcoming "Padre special". Didn't understand this, as the trail was very pleasant; up, up & into great views of the countryside. But then…..The great views gave way to a vertical drop into a quarry. The check at the top was accompanied by Jobsworth peering over the edge, only to find that even Padre would not be so foolish as to be so vertical in choice of routes. More disconcertingly, there was no flour. It was replaced by Prestressed having a Corporal Jones "Don't panic!" moment, having found detonators for the said quarry. The mood darkened further when Padre finally persuaded Jenny & Henry to take the easy way and then announced that he could not remember the trail as the mountain top had been blown away since his midweek recce. Gulp! Finally, trail was located. The good news was that it was not down the vertical drop to the quarry. The bad news was that it was down the vertical drop on the other side. Hashers were asked to wimp out now or forever hold their piece (sic). Nobody did, so Dingus led the charge straight down the mountain. There were severely loose rocks and some b*^%$£d behind me caused a rockslide that nearly took 3 of us out. Eventually, descent gave way to brambles. Padre informed us that he had secutters (how the hell do you spell that correctly?) in his rucksack. Unfortunately, the rucksack was in his car. Doh! All good things must come to an end and the pack eventually escaped from the jungle. But, guess what, we had casualty number 2. Sadist (it could only have been him!) emerged from his fight with the trees with a truly awful amount of blood streaming down his face. Worse, I think that he was still bleeding when we parted company hours later. After this escapade, there was a very pleasant run along a mountain path to the beer stop. The lesser souls started walking at this point, whilst hardier ones took the excuse for some exercise. Notable in this was Perpetch who again considered that he had not done enough by cycling to the hash! The beer stop was very welcome, though probably less so for the walkers, who had been there a while and resented the intrusion. The hash had an unusually family feeling about it. The full complement of Cumalot & Jobsworth families were joined by Becky & kids. As you can guess, this led to the next accident. Whilst Never Cums was regaling everyone with stories of how Jobsworth left her arm in plaster after abandoning her whilst roller blading, daughter Charlotte fell down a slope and managed to gash pretty well all limbs. Guess who was heading for a SoW nomination! Beer over, the pack & walkers went their separate ways on a short but pleasant second half. This pleasantness was rudely interrupted by a crazy Monegasque car driver, being our very own Klingon, who decided to turn up 2 hours late with a young lady in tow. Hmmmm. And so it was that the runners & walkers arrived home, some minutes after Klingon. But where the hell was he? I don't know for sure, but he & his friend turned up just after the circle started looking tousled and with reports of testing his car's suspension. And the down downs went to: Klingon & missus for cumming late and twice Hares - Padre, Sneaky Bastard & Chris Uncoordinated self harmers - Sadist, Knicker Licker & Charlotte (taken by dad Jobsworth) 100 run "billy no mates" mugs - Jobsworth & Prestressed Attempted murder of wife - Jobsworth Naming - Jenny now to be known as "Cums Quicker". (Ask Cumalot for details) New shoes - Big End Caterer (soon to be proven as fantastic caterer) - Big End Toggle Oggle for accusing the RA of being the village idiot Canadian driving (my god, she's a changed woman behind the wheel) - Farty Bum Sadist for setting an excellent Victoria Falls hash & Dingus for not knowing where the Victoria Falls are (guess this confirms Toggle Oggle's assertion, geographically speaking) Chris & Toggle Oggle for showing what wimmin really want Virgins - Becky with son Max & daughter Maddie Birthdays - Never Cums & Virgin Mouth Shit of the week nominations · Padre for very dodgy directions · Jobsworth for matricidal tendencies (is that wife or mother?) · Klingon as he hasn't been done for a while Of course, there could only be one winner and Klingon it was! And so the hash gave way to a picnic and the grey skies gave way to rain. A fantastic spread was laid on by Big End - heartfelt thanks to her - and devoured by all, even those who had not reserved and those who had (allegedly) not paid. No names, just wait for the wrath of Farty Bum when she demands payment and interest next time. |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN
Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
