Run # 513 23 April 06

I noticed that Dingus chose to write the report for his own run last week, and came to the guilty conclusion that maybe he wanted to make sure it actually got written. I say ‘guilty’ because I was supposed to do the report for a run of his back in April, and never did. It’s true that after all the work involved in preparing a run, it’s disappointing to the hare not to get a few lines of recognition for his efforts. So, with apologies to Dingus (and also to Incredible Hulk, who occasionally sends reminders that "Some of us poor distant RHHHers are missing the run reports"), only nine months late, here is what I remember of that day.

To help you recall the location: we followed the signs for Theole and at the descent into town took the slip road to the right marked ‘Port de la Rague". At the bottom of the hill we turned right (away from the port) and continued about 2 km along a narrow road through the bush, until we came to some gates and couldn’t go any farther. We parked at the side of the road, and since there were thirty hashers out that day, it meant a long procession of cars, with those at the back out of sight around two bends from those at the front.

It was a hot sunny day and the first hash of the year with everyone wearing shorts. There was a virgin called Piers. The co-hare was Contessa, who had kindly responded to Dingus’s e-mail request for assistance in laying the trail.

The directions said, "April 23^rd – St George’s Day, so be English, Knightly or both." I don’t recall anyone dressed in full dragon gear, or anybody in shining armour, but there might have been one or two wearing the Union Jack T-shirt from the nash hash in Wales. Padre was wearing a red dress. When asked if this was a red-dress run as well, he replied, "This isn’t a dress! It’s a knightie!" Sadist wasn’t there, otherwise he would have worn something appropriate, I’m sure.

I don’t know where the runners went, but us walkers went up kind of a dusty reddish shale road with a few sharp turns in it. We met quite a few ordinary French people coming down as we climbed. Contessa said she had a surprise for us, and Knicker Licker said, "Oh no! Not another accordion player!" When we got to the top of the hill there was an old water tank there, and a view, and the surprise was a cache of water bottles, and one or two beers, hidden under the tank. But since it was such a warm day, most walkers already had their own water, so did not fall all over the surprise with cries of joy. One of the men, however, seemed to be happy to get a beer, but I don’t remember who it was.

We turned to the right and continued on along the reddish shale road through green vegetation. I think we were in the Fôret Domaniale de l’Esterel, and basically walking through the same hills as when we started out in Miramar for Padre’s birthday run that year he flew in from Florida, except that this time we started out at the back of the hills, whereas Miramar is in front. I don’t remember any details about the trail except that the whole way was on the shale road, and I was walking with Annette (now Polyandra). Contessa said that the runners would be doing this same route, only in reverse, in the second half.

I seem to remember going through a kind of tunnel before arriving at the beer stop on the beach in Theole. The only thing I remember about the beer stop was that Padre had taken his arms out of his sleeves and rolled the red dress down around his waist, so that he was now topless and in a mini-skirt.

After the beer stop, the walkers trudged along the sandy beach, past families lying in the sun and men playing boules and people strolling etc, and when we got to the far end we discovered there was no way out, so we had to trudge all the way back through the sand again, disrupting the boule players a second time, to discover a staircase up to the road that we should have taken almost immediately from the beer stop.

We walked along on top. A big house next to the train station was for sale. We crossed the road somewhere and started back along that two-kilometer-long road through the bush that we had arrived on. It definitely seemed a lot longer on foot. Skinny A was discussing, with Jenny Sheppard I believe, where to find puff pastry. After a very long time walking along this road, we saw a tired-looking PreStessed jogging towards us. He seemed amazed to see us and said to Skinny A, "What are you doing here?? This isn’t the right road!!" For a split second we believed him. Nice try, PreStressed. He had come to retrieve the car keys, then jogged off back the way he had come. Shortly after this we arrived back at the beginning.

Here are the down-downs, but I missed quite a few when I went to the car (parked two bends away) to get my jacket.

Hares – Dingus and Contessa

For his red knightie – Padre

For dragon T-shirts – Pedo and Eric

For discrimination against accordion players – Knicker Licker

For Shakespeare’s birthday (poets) – Wetspot, Padre, Farty Bum

For taking time out of her busy schedule to come to the hash – Annette

Naming: Eric is now Sneaky Bastard, after he was overheard saying, "Oh, but I’m a sneaky

bastard!’ to some poor hasher he had tricked or fooled

Naming 2: Some time ago Pete expressed a desire to have a name that really suited him, so

Padre sent out a résumé of his character and interests and invited the hash to come up

with the perfect name. Wetspot suggested "Toe Jam" because his toes were sticking

out the holes in his shoes. Padre said that Pete had holes in his shoes because he

was too tight to buy new ones. He said that Pete was, in fact, as tight as a duck’s arse.

Here Pete began to express a sudden fondness for the name "No-Name Pete". Too

late! He was now Duck’s Arse.

For training for the demi-marathon for several months, and then not doing it due to a pulled

muscle – PreStressed

Shit of the Week – Skinny A for leading virgins astray, pulling PreStressed’s muscle, and

something to do with killing (?) (can’t figure out notes)