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In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN Harley D R*N REPORT Run News
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VICTORIA FALLS HASH Extended Weekend: Thursday 20th April 2006 - Monday 24th April 2006 French Nash Hash 2006. Friday 22nd September - Sunday 24th September. Presqu'ile de Giens 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
A cool but bright welcome to this, the earliest hash start in anyone's memory. A small but well rounded crowd gathered (hungover in some cases, but more of that later) in the car park of La Gaude to witness Cumalot and Sadist's 3R hash. Recycling was one of the Rs but the hares were about to prove that this area is not yet fully exploited. The start was slightly delayed by the late arrival of Two Cheeky and the latrine activities of Big End, but then it was off; walkers went directly down to the valley, whilst the runners disappeared on a loop around the village, ensuring that anyone hoping for a grasse matinée was well and truly disturbed. At this point, I should add that the average age on the hash was well and truly reduced by the presence of Rachel, Henry & Charlotte, average age 7 ¼. If you take Tessa the dog into account, this age falls further to 6 ¼ (unless you calculate in doggy years). Anyway, none of this matters as the littl'uns put the big'uns to shame as they walked gaily down to the woods. In the meantime, the pack had finally sussed out that this would not be a town hash. Perpetch was uncharacteristically at the back for a while, following a false trail/lost flour episode, but he would soon take up pole position again. The savvier soles guessed (wrongly) that the trail would go down to the river Cagnes, just like last year. Wrong! In the meantime, the walkers were becoming babes in the wood, trying to keep up with the energetic youngsters. Some runners were fresher than others, notably Padre who was complaining of a hangover following Saturday's 6 Nations rugby. An 80 minute game much improved by a 10 hour drinking session - and a mixed one at that! Soon the runners hit a check at the entrance to the woods. The correct trail was obvious - down to the sewage farm so favoured in past hashes by Jobsworth. But no, Sadist stood his ground and the pack finally realised that they had a much more palatable entrance. So disgusted was Padre with this that he went behind a rock to add sewage of his own. In the meantime, the walkers were breathlessly chasing the young brigade uphill, whist the runners were bamboozled in the gully. Finally, Tessa the dog helped them on their way by guiding the pack to Padre's poo, which was close to the next trail. Next time any of you let Tessa lick you, just think where her nose & mouth had been. After this, it was an amble uphill on trail for the walkers and a death defying rock climb up a dried river bed for the runners. Not only that, when they got to the top, they were accosted by 3 ferocious dogs fiercely guarding the property that Cumalot had decided to traverse in his bid for hash histrionics. Dogs negotiated, it was a gentle trot along the road for both walkers and runners. Special notice must go to Farty Bum, who was waiting for the slow ones in the LWB, little realising that she was the slow one & that the others were well ahead. The trail passed behind IBM, where the walkers carried on directly to the beer stop and the runners did the same, barring a detour in woods festooned with hunters and wild boar. The beer stop was a fine affair, with the kids proving that the only reason they had got this far was because they had heard of the free coke & crisps. (Sorry to disappoint, kids, it is not free as dads paid extra & the coke is not the sort of which Kate Moss & Pete Doherty would approve). Onon to the second half, with the kids defecting to the runners trail. But hang on, what was this? Cumalot was anxious for a short run in order to reach the restaurant (and watch the rugby) on time, but the second half went defiantly in the wrong direction and towards the magnificent but confusingly named Chateau de la Gaude (it's in St Jeannet). At this point, Charlotte'sworth decided that she had had enough and injured her foot, causing dad to coerce & carry her as best he could. Rachel & Henry, meanwhile, continued the tradition from the first half and showed the pack what's for. There was an orderly return to the start, save for family Jobsworth, who took the opportunity of being on home turf to phone Never Cums to drive round & pick them (and poo eating Tessa) up. The circle was a swift affair on account of the restaurant timing. Down downs went to: Hares - Cumalot & Sadist Birthday - Skinny Ah So (Taken by Prestressed on account of her being stuck in a violent snowstorm in Washington DC) Ventriloquists - Chris & Annette Crumb Catcher (according to my notes!) - El Vera Slippery when wet - Sadist Providing SFR with a major profit boost - Two Cheeky Scatological tricks with his dog (& second half short cutting) - Jobsworth Henry's new shoes - Cumalot Donating Organs - Farty Bum Not nominated as out of time - Never Cums & Jenny for turning up late Sh*t of the week was between Cumalot for something or other & Padre for sh*tting. No contest - Padre won by a phart. And so it was, off to St Jeannet for an excellent Mexican meal and the setting of this riddle, for which Chris offers €40 (or a down down) to anyone who solves it by the next hash: 3 houses need to be connected to electricity, water & gas. However, the pipes & lines cannot cross and the connection must be direct (ie no multiplexing or, for example, gas running from house A to house B and then to house C. How to do on a two dimensional piece of paper? Gas Water Electricity House A House B House C A final word, rumour has it that this run report was written by Farty Bum…..scurrilous or true? |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN Harley D
French Nash Hash 2006 Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
