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In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN Padre R*N REPORT Sadist Run News
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VICTORIA FALLS HASH Extended Weekend: Thursday 20th April 2006 - Monday 24th April 2006 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
For Contessa's first exercise as hare for 15 years we went over the border to Vetimiglia. You would have thought that Ventimiglia means a thousand winds. The wind was freezing cold in spite of the bright sunshine as we stood about near the marina of the dilettanti fishermen. We were warmed up by the arrival of Contessa, Pedo and Cumalot with lashings of Limoncello served by Dingus- 3 varieties of which 2 were home made by Big End and Quaillewd respectively. Quite a small group until we were joined by a crowd of well wrapped up hooligans hashers from the train station who had escaped the railway police after terrorizing fellow passengers all the way from Antibes. Contessa and her co-hare Pedo (who was replacing Klingon who had sent some feeble excuse for his absence) explained some of the rules - the trail had some Roman numerals IX or XI depending what side you were coming from- and announced that the first half would be up hill- pretty obvious if you start at sea level- and after the beer stop the second half would be down. So at the first check Perpetual Motion took the uphill route for about 100 steps before he discovered that it was a falsie. The real trail lay along a path by the beach past some derelict buildings until we reached another check where the obvious up route would be up a staircase attached to a rocket launcher by the side of the cliff. This was shut off and we were no wiser as to how the rocket launcher worked as our NASA expert Shepherd's Bush had not joined us on this hash. The alternative appeared to be along the water's edge but this looked impassable for several hundred yards as the sea was right up against the cliff. Some lateral thinking hasher calculated that it must be a back check so the runners ran back along the path, puzzling the walkers who were determined to enjoy the seaside path. The trail went up a path and more steps by a ruined fortress which was the Museo Archaeologico- a quick visit revealed an exhibition of paintings of naked ladies looking rather unhappy-to reach the road, where Perpetch could again investigate the uphill direction; and again it was a falsie. So down the road back towards the start- was it the second half already? Dingus and Cumalot led the pack into town following crushed chalk and other confusing material looking like flour. The FRBs spent their time touring the unattractive narrow passages of the town before they found their way upwards again. Sadist followed flour up through the old town, past more fortress-like ruins way out of town and eventually reached near the top of a hill bristling with radio masts- it was probably red hot with microwave radiation. Looking over the edge of the hill, he could see way, way below ant-like specks in running gear which was obviously a very lost pack. Time to call an encouraging "On Up" which was lost to the wind. Investigation of the absence of trail around here revealed more misleading false flour from the last check, just in time to find Pedo leading the walkers and Cumalot with the keys to the beercar, parked just around the bend . The carefully chosen beerstop had tremendous views over the coast and special seats where you could view the rubbish dumped close by. Klingon on his motorbike joined us at the beer stop well wrapped up in leathers. No one wanted to hang around for the usual half hour beerstop and the pack moved off quite swiftly. This time it was downhill and the FRBs were ahead of Pedo setting the trail right through the deserted passages of the old town. All the inhabitants must have long ago deserted this area in favour of the flatter parts of town near the railway station which would be more convenient for the market, the cheap booze shops and other amenities which seemed to be lacking in this part of town. The trail led us down passages ways which indicated that the inhabitants were chiefly dogs who left behind mementoes of their passing. There was a large contingent of hash mutts with us: as well as Hash Tash, there was a shark fishing dog from Reunion brought by virgins Eric and Evelyn with its own radio transmitter ( no sharks were caught on the hash that day ) and Lindsay had brought 2 dogs- one sensibly wrapped up in its own black fur coat and a greyhound like specimen with a little coat strapped on its back. No doubt they all enjoyed sniffing the canine pollution. Down at sea level once again, a check near the main traffic roundabout left us looking for trail; the real lead across the river into the newer parts of XXmiglia and over the footbridge with a nice run in back to the start, where Klingon and Sadist were using the swings at the children's playground. After refreshments and more limoncellos Dingus conducted the circle whenever he could get a word in between the tunes provided by Carlo an accordion player Contessa had arranged to entertain us. Down Downs The hares- Contessa and Pedo, and Klingon For showing up in sexy leather outfit- Klingon Knickerless- for going all the way without stopping at the beerstop Madame Mouton- the name chosen for Clare- for behaving like a sheep on the road in the face of car traffic- Hello Dolly and Kamikaze Dolly being alternative suggestions Padre- for adventures in the back passages SkinnyA, Virgin Mouth and Madame Mouton- for coming back in the beer car Faye- for coming back on Klingon's motorbike Faye, Lindsay, Maria, Eric, Evelyn, Johnny- virgins Klingon- for lost shades Farty Bum, Virgin Mouth- misdemeanours at the railway station Shit of the week was awarded to Klingon, with Contessa and Dingus being runners up The cold encouraged an early closing of the circle and we went to Giussepe's restaurant along the waterfront for the OnOnOn. This apparently is one of Contessa's bike sheds- where it was lovely and warm. Guissepe was there with his staff to greet us and Carlo's itchy fingers couldn't be taken away from his accordion. Confusion very sensibly arranged handcounts for the menu choices with great efficiency as Guissepe was waiting to know how many fresh fish to catch. However the fritto misto had swum away and a second recount of alternatives managed to confuse everyone. Still no one went away hungry and there were non scheduled pizzas and chips aplenty. |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN Padre
Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
