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In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN Cumalot R*N REPORT Anonymous Run News
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Finale Ligure Weekend 22nd-23rd October 2005 with Milan HHH BIG 500 Saturday 5th November 2005 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
There were no volunteers to write the run report and therefor I have been asked to do it. It would much easier if I was actually there, but here goes; Friday started like the rest of the previous week, a miserable overcast day looking as if it might rain at any minute, with the big black ominous clouds hovering over the hills behind Grasse, Nice and Antibes. It can't be much fun on a bouncing boat, sprayed with brine and then running around a tiny island in weather like this. I know I'll just 'phone "Prestresed" and cancel. I have also bribed somebody else to take over my responsibilities and "do" the report for me. OOOhhps, there is no such thing as a free beer and now I have to write a glowing report, praising the efforts of the main organisers, " El Toro, Prestressed and their band of helpers". So read on........... I postponed, delegated and finished work early and headed West into the setting sun, if you could see it through the heavy dark clouds. One hour down the Peage and it seems to me it could be getting lighter, even as the sun is setting. Thirty minutes later and as I enter the car park there is a clear blue sky, with the beautiful sunset over the sea. Give "El Toro" credit there, he certainly knows how to lay on a sunset. Just time to book in, head for the bar and grab a few drinks before dinner. The dedicated members of the party had arrived hours before and in true form had partaken of some committed shopping. Guess who they were? Answers on a "money off" coupon to the "Ladies Walking Brigade", section. Fed, watered and all the "kissy, kissy" stuff, time to hit the bar for a few, before they close just before midnight. Good thing we didn't go to our room and unpack as the bar closed early. This was just a minor inconvenience to the French fire brigade and a certain hash member who has previous form for breaking and entering, as the drinks continued to flow. (use your imagination) A certain female was mightily impressed and wanted to know all about the firemens poles, she said she was a good pole dancer. (again use your imagination) Stagger off and try to find room. Seems like a good start. SATURDAY, Saturday arrived bright and early first thing in the morning. We were all met by a bouncing, enthusiastic "Harley Davidson" informing anybody sufficiently awake at breakfast that there are two 0530hrs. in the day. Who cares? The advance crew set off to do the important "stuff". That is, ensure the ice, beer and refreshments were transported to the island and then into the boat for Captain Pugwash, "Cumalot" to set sail for the beer stop. Just he was setting off the next ferry arrived along with all the remainder of the participants. (except of course "C-more pussy" and "Whoresin" as they prefered to catch the later ferry without all the riff raff) Once ashore we all hung around and waited for 20 minutes to give those on the later ferry an easy task to catch up. We later discovered that the idea of actually running around the island was complete anathma to them and therefore, they waited until we were all safely out of sight, before spending a romantic four hours at the ferry terminal, as they had the previous year. As with all week-end runs there was not too much enthusiasm at the start, particularly as the initial 300-400m were uphill to the first check. To give you some idea of the lack of zest, a few of the Ladies Walking Brigade actually arrived at the first check in front of a few runners. "Dr. Jeeves" and "Vampire Tea Bag" were lesiurly finishing their coffee and talking to "Padre" at the rear. From here on it was just pure poetry, "I wandered lonely as a cloud" etc. take a look at "Dirty Dingus' posted 'photos to obtain some idea of what you missed. Let me tell you though, it was much better than that. The photographs can not and do not do justice to the real thing. The run itself was well thought out with "El Toro" keeping up with the pack; so it must have been. There was also an even number of male and non male runners, with "Ingrun", "Saucy Sue" and "Beau Locks" taking their turn as front runners. We ascended slowly in managable increments to the top of the island for some 360° scenery before an equally tranqil descent with plenty of opportunities to admire the vistas. Next it was down to sea level and a leg stretching run in to the 1st. beer stop. Several walkers arrived for their refreshments before runners. A miracle of timming. A beer to refresh, swim, another beer to refresh some more, and other to revive whilst the boat-man is changed. Cumalot now raring to go and full of energy leads uson part 2. Rachel is full of running (7 years old) and with her enthusiam is leaving Daddy "Cumalot" behind. But then again so is most of the pack. "Dirty Dingus", "Dr. Jeeves" and the "Vampire Tea Bag" seem to be involved in a competative effort to challenge each other as front runners, with Paedophil", "Big End" and "Padre" and I are doing our best just to keep up. I just wished they informed us before the end of the run that they wouln't be running on Sunday. Another piece of forward planning during the 2nd. section in which there is a small, steep climb up to another superb veiw stop which allows the slower runners to catch up. From here it is obviously downhill, but this time to the South side of the island for the 2nd. beer stop. Nobody is going in to the sea this time as the water is cold on this side. The cuddling couples weren't expecting a sudden influx of tourists to ruin their amorous sunbathing and were mighty relieved when we left. "Christa" manfully continues as boatman, but with a crew of women and children and this time and the pack has a final, fastish, flatish section back to the port for the return ferry; Once everyone is safely on board the "Hash" bar is opened, much to the envy of a majority of the other passengers. Back on the mainland the walkers start for home, whilst the runners assist with loading the beer car to enable "Cumalot" to drive to the end and be in place before the front runners arrive. "Big End" then swings into action mixing up this weeks special cocktail, "The Zombie", a mixture of White Rum, Dark Rum, mixed fruit juice (for the Vitamins) and sugar, which is enthusiasticly received. A quick end to 3 bottles of rum. The scrap of paper handed to me with the "Down Downs" listed contains, I suspect, just a brief touching on what actually took place, you'll just have to guess the rest. And so the "Padre" opened the circle with a D.D. for the two talkers, reasoning that at least whilst they were drinking they would not be able to talk. I can't remember who it was, but it would be a safe bet to guess "Cum Cum" was one of them. Down Downs to: El Toro, Prestressed and Skinny Ah So: as Hares Whoresin and C- More Pussy: missing the boat Dr. Jeeves and Saucy Sue; swapping spit Big End: calling people funny names Anne of Cleavage: smelling funny and whinging "I want some food" Beau Locks: kissing bus drivers and then announcing she was working that evening (don't know what she meant, do you?) Two Cheeky and Confusion: antisocial behaviour Skinny AhSo: actully running Cumalot: for saying women take longer to die Klingon: offering shelly 20 euros and then bent Big End over the table to spank her Shelly: Pimping Paedophil:wanting a pair of tights to put over his head to look for oriental women. (Orienteering) Dirty Dingus: vouyerism Paedophil and Ingrun; running false checks Big End: bloody bells Skinny Ah So, Idyl and late stand in Dr. Jeeves the German speakers in recognition of the German sculpture we were standing on Harley Davidson: calling herself old when the average age of a Harley owner is 52 and then she said she was eyeing all the young dudes Paedophil, Harley Davidson, Farty Bum and Idyl: for not having their mugs. Virgin: Jenny and Ingrun: We then had the unusual event of Padre naming a virgin on his first run. A bit of back ground history, Christa lives on an island near the Artic Circle which is full of spunky, brave seamen, he showed a lot of courage piloting a boat full of women and children and looking after the beer. As he was only a small fraction of the population of the island he was named "Spunk Bubble" The naming ceremony was ably carried out, like an old hand, by the virgin Ingrun, with a little assistance from Padre. Last but by no means least, "Shit of the Week": Nominations, Cumalot: blaming Jenny for being so slow, Klingon and Dirty Dingus: embarassing virgins, Padre for deriliction of duty and not running the circle correctly. And the winner was "Padre" and he was assisted with his Down Down by Ingrun. The circle was then closed. |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN Cumalot
The BIG 500 - Event Saturday 5th November 2005 Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
| R*n 499: NEXT HASH RUN
Location: Car Park next to the football pitches of the Complexe Sportif De Cagnes Address: Av du colonel jean-pierre, CAGNES-SUR-MER (north end of Cagnes) Time: 15:30 for 16:00 start Restaurant: La Guinguette Gaudoise, next to the Ed Supermarket, La Gaude Please let me know if your are going to the restaurant as it will help the planning The Sales Pitch:
The Hash will take in all the beautiful sights of Cagnes (ahem!) and given my previous record, we are going to be in good time for the restaurant at the end! If we are early no problem, bring your boules, there is a pitch/court in the car park of the restaurant.
From A8 West (Valbonne direction).
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