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In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN R*N REPORT Cumalot Run News
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BIG 500 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
Hare: Big End (aided & abetted by Padre) Grasse Routes Hashing First, an apology, this write-up is very, very late. There is no punishment strong enough etc. etc. So, to the run report. In what has been a recent trend the Beermaster was late, having been deprived of his transport by a woman scorned and his sense of direction by Peter "the man with Noname" Butler. When he finally arrived, the pack was circling round the Hares anxiously waiting for the ambrosia laden chariot to appear. Once the beer had been deployed to its final destination (more of this later!) the pack set off. Immediately, it was obvious that Big End was making a statement about the success of her latest diet by sending the runners over a 10ft wall and then through a gap between two buildings that was only in 6" wide in places. Luckily, the slim and svelte members of the RHHH could pass through this gap without difficulty. Ahem. The first part of the walkers revenge started here as they watched the runners running around like headless chickens looking for flour, staggering through particularly gooey building sites or interacting with the natives who were giving particularly useful advice such as "pass-icy", "inter-d!" or "VAT-ON!" (On! On! shurley). The course was cunningly constructed so that the walkers could be shepherded by the Hares while having a prime view of the runners' antics. The next phase of the run led to the green, green, Grasse of grass, following an irrigation canal and into the fields and allegedly to a sewage works. "Allegedly" since Dirty Dingus, knowing the trail far better than the Hares, led the pack across allotments to where there should have been flour. Even if there wasn't. Meanwhile, Whoresin and Supermarket Trolley allegedly spent the whole Hash investigating the sewage works in great depth. It must have been hard work as they looked very hot an sweaty after all their exertions. It was also here that the RHHH collective committed the heinous sin of losing a visitor. Long Legs was last seen in the Decathlon car park. Perhaps he had seen that pair of shoes he'd always needed, size 18 (UK) trainers! The trail then swung back into Grasse proper, where many of the pack were struck with a strange case of flour-blindness, following no flour whatsoever for long periods. This may have been due to the heavy rain the night before or the fact that there never had been any! Flour seemed to magically appear shortly after the pack had passed, while the hares loitered sheepishly at the back. Or possibly, everyone was following Dingus who was still sure he knew the trail. The walkers enjoyed themselves again following calmly through the chaos. Apparently, Fartybum even had time to scrumpy some tomatoes that a Grasse resident had left growing dangerously close to the walkers trail. (This may be a lie as the tomatoes could have been wild.) (Apparently, the prime spot in the centre of town had been nabbed by a kebab van on moment before the beer chariot arrived.) The beer stop location was probably the least salubrious in recent RHH history. Squeezed into a single lane backstreet between cars and a building site where dogs were too ashamed to shit, the Hashers sat in the sun, drank beer, ate crisps and generally commented on the difficulty on seeing the flour this Hash. A classic. Serveral of the Harriets also commented on the warm welcome afforded to them by the male inhabitants of one residential area where the smell of fresh couscous was wafting from every window. Quite delightful. The route back to the start was notable for the runners being unable to follow flour again (so the walkers had the last laugh and took in the superb view) and for that RHHH favourite, a tunnel. Unlike some, this was well lit with plenty of headroom but was clearly popular as the local dog toilet. At least I hope the mess was caused by dogs… As the end approached, Dingus finally really did know the route without having to resort to following flour, turning back at crosses or other such foolishness. He managed to drag kicking and screaming Shelley, Cumalot and Wuffdiva on a short cut to the circle. They may have got away with it if they hadn't met under-Hare Padre coming back up the trail. Down downs all round! When the rest of the pack arrived some minutes later, Padre and the rediscovered Long Legs engaged in a distasteful display of Hash T-Shirt one-upmanship with Long Legs pitting his Petaling Hash shirt (worn) against Padre's Mother Hash limited edition serong with gold trim and oakleaf clusters. Peace was soon declared as it was time for… Down Downs Hares - Big End (and Padre) Returners - Whoresin, Lazybitch, Stella Artios, Virgin Lips, Supermarket Trolley, Claire, Long Legs Visitors - Long Legs (from Petaling Hash, KL/Holland) Virgins - "Forbidden Fruit" (unofficial name) Un-gentlemanly conduct. - Dingus Shortcutting Bastards - Dingus, Shelley, Cumalot, Wuffdiva Shit of the Week Nominations - Dingus - Leading Virgins astray and looking at Wuffdivas breasts. Peter Noname - bringing the Beermeister (and beer!) late. Two Cheeky - Dangerous use of a mobile phone Winner - Dingus! runner up Peter Noname The rest Whoresin and Supermarket Trolley - Hanky Panky in the sewage works (what romance) Non-Starters- Mother Hen and Stella Artios PARTY !!PARTY!! No only did Big End and Padre set a Hash but they also hosted an excellent party, the details of which could take many pages itself. However, there is not time and I doubt many have made it this far J The highlights were:- An excellent Chilli which came with an optional Johnny Cash memorial (Ring of Fire) sauce. A dissertation by Mr. Pizza entitled "How to purrsuade a cat that 'waters' your house never to return" An motion detecting automated singing frog. Whoresin offering to help the chef when all the work had been done and then being first at the trough. Love blossoming in the shrubbery. Shame it was too dark to see what was really happening. Peter "the man with Noname" Butler acquiring a huge settee and somehow fitting into his car. |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN
Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
