|
The Riviera Hash Websh!te: |
Sign Up For Your Own Trash: |
|
|
|
|
|
Riviera Trash |
||
|
The Riviera Hash Websh!te: |
Sign Up For Your Own Trash: |
|
|
|
|
|
Riviera Trash |
||
|
In Your Papier
EDITO On! On! How to set a run NEXT RUN Paedo's Bastard Day R*N REPORT Whoresin Run News
|
Eurohash 12-14 August
2005 Amsterdam. London Marathon Hash Weekend 16-18th September 2005 in the Surrey Hills www.LondonMarathonHash.com 3 days of action packed Interhashing in Chiang Mai in 27-29 October 2006
Jobsworth's short & flat one Yet another day in paradise, a cloudless sky, blazing sunshine and not a breath of wind. This was the scene which greeted to happy hashers on the occasion of Jobsworth 40th Birthday and yet again we had all been lulled to the outer hinterland by the description given by the directions of a hash which was guaranteed to be a short flat one. There was tangible excitement of a run which we anticipated would finish by at worst the first corner and we would be settling into the down downs in double quick time. Little did we realise that this was simply a description of part of Jobsworth's anatomy. I'm going to contact the Trades Description Act to complain that the small print should be made significantly larger and in colour. Something like Flat means a total climb of less than 2,000 metres. Oxygen masks not required. Would be more appropriate. Anyway off the runners went disappearing in a cloud of dust, clutching bottles of frozen Evian water and in total oblivion as to what was to come whilst the walkers disappeared in a cloud of channel (spot the deliberate spelling mistake, 'cause I'm an unsophisticated northerner, that is north of Watford or High Wycombe, or so I have been told, so I thought I'd just reinforce the myth, or not as the case may be), chiffon and classic khaki. The runners me included found the long and winding road and we all trundled on in the direction of Nice only to find it was the longest false trail in history. Returning in the vague direction from hence we had just come from the hare directed us up a steep path in the vague direction of a mountain. I had grave forebodings about this new direction and where it was likely to lead. We climbed and climbed and even further climbed. If there were clouds we would have been in them. As it was the relentless heat and sun shone down on the not so righteous. During the climb into the heavens BigEnd seemed determined to provide a few chosen words to anybody who would listen about the state of her impending sex life like Fxxx Me this is Fxxxing Hard and wait till I get my hands on that Fxxxer. All I could do was nod in agreement as our brief was nearly spent. I hasten to point out that this had nothing to do with horizontal jogging. This I can assure you was vertical jogging. Anyway the world and his brother arrived at what appeared to be a vertical climb which we all scrambled up cursing and swearing which just before we levelled out yours truly decided he's had enough and refused to go any further. BigEnd's heavenly words of poetry disappeared at this point and she was probably molesting some poor mountain goat (probably Padre) who had been taking a leisurely stroll on a pleasant Sunday afternoon just to get away from it all. I believe it was at this point that the hares took pity on us and decided the last 700 feet was just a little bit too much and redirected us back down the hill. Just a few meters into this descent we came across WetSpot who had decided he couldn't take the intellectual conversation from the walkers any longer and taken a 5 mile detour to reconnoitre (and that's all the French you'll get out of me) with the main body of runners. Down we went scrambling down embankments, scrubb and tarmac to the beer stop. The walkers arrived in dribs and drabs and looking a little worse for wear. Never has a ice cold bottle of water tasted so good. Ever tried sucking ice out of a plastic bottle, extremely hard work. At this point Jobsworth muttered something to me about nobody was talking to him. We were all gasping Jobsworth!!! The beer stop over we all dreaded the second half of the run. As it happened we were only about 500 yards from where we had started from what was going to be a long a dusty trek home turned out to be a rather pleasant jog back to the cars for down downs. Following the down downs we all travelled in single file back to Jobsworth for his birthday bash, meet the neighbours, swimming pool, sausage, tomato and glass of beer. Just a few final words YES, YES!!!!!! Down Downs T Shirt Award On account of reaching the grand old age of 40 Jobsworth was awarded a T shirt with the usual sarcastic comments printed on it about his participation or rather non participation in the Nice Half Marathon. Hares Jobsworth & David Pedo: For being a Motor Mouth Big End, Cumalot and Smelly Pooh: For short cutting between 2 and 3 times and pretending that they hadn't. Padre: For missing the beer stop AnneGail, Clare, Whoresin and Idyl Bitch for being returners Visitors: Stick-it-in, Wet Spot, Smelly Pooh and Skinny Arso WestSpot: For leaving the walkers And Supermarket trolley, Confusion and Cumalot for something 'cause I can't read Padres writing. Pedo, Whoresin and Jobsworth also for something but was getting too pissed to remember what it was for Shit-of-the-Week No Satisfaction for missing flour and Padre for missing beer stop New Name AnneGail will forthwith be known as Eager Beaver |
Upcumming Events
Also see the Receeding Hare Line! NEXT RUN Pedo's Bastard Day
London Marathon Hash 16-18th September 2005 Interrhash 2006-27-29 Oct 2006 |
| R*n 492: NEXT HASH RUN
|
